APH Italy ch 2

"Wouldn't it just be better if I disappeared brother?" Feliciano asked.

Lovino's hands were shaking. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Feliciano smiled. "If I died. It would be better wouldn't it? I mean you'll be called who you really are."

Lovino snorted. "I already am called who I am. Romano."

Feliciano shook his head. "No, you are not Romano."

Feliciano started to disappear in front of Lovino's wide and fear filled eyes.

"You are Italy." Feliciano whispered before he disappeared completely.

Romano sat up in bed breathing heavily suddenly. His hand came to grip at the cross hanging from his neck comfortingly. He took deep breaths to calm his thumping heart.

His eyes flew to his side. No Veneziano.

Throwing the covers back he ran down the hall towards Veneziano's room. He pushed the door open so hard that it banged against the wall leaving a dent.

The bed was clear. No sign of anyone even having slept there.

Romano's eyes widened and he ran back to his room where he nearly tackled his cell phone. Fingers shaking he dialed a familiar number and brought the phone to his ear.

First ring.

'Dear god please.'

Second ring.

'Please answer.'

Third ring.

'Please. I am begging you.'

The fourth ring was interrupted in the middle and the sleepy voice of Veneziano answered "Hello?"

Romano didn't say anything; he just took a breath of relief.

"Brother?" Veneziano asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Romano said. He was surprised at how steady his voice sounded. "I dialed you by accident. I was trying to call Spain."

"But its…" there was a pause here as Veneziano most likely looked at a clock. "Three in the morning. Why would you want to call big brother Spain?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself about Veneziano." Romano said. "Good night."

Before his brother could say anything Romano pushed the button to end the call. He gripped the phone in his hand to his forehead as he slid down the wall to the floor in relief.
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He should have known that it wouldn't be so simple to get rid of his brother after calling him in the middle of the night.

However in retrospect Romano was still slightly asleep in the morning as he prepared his breakfast and coffee with a piece of toast hanging from his mouth.

Veneziano ran into their shared house.

"Brother! Are you okay?" he immediately asked.

Romano paused in his stirring sugar into his coffee and spat the toast out to glance at his brother over his shoulder and say "Of course I'm alright, why would you think I'm not?"

"You sounded very strange on the phone last night." Veneziano said. "And the fact that you called in the middle of the night."

Romano sighed as he picked up his toast once more and started to apply the right amount of jam onto it. "I told you. I was trying to call Spain and I accidently called you."

"My number and Spains are completely different, including the first letter so you couldn't have mixed it up." Veneziano pointed out. "And I called Spain too; he said that you had never called him."

"Wasn't that important." Romano waved away. "Do you want breakfast too or did you eat already?"

"I ate already." Veneziano said. "I want to know what's been bothering you lately."

"Nothing."

"Don't nothing me!" Veneziano cried. "I'm your brother! I know everything about you, I know you better than anyone else. Now tell me what's wrong."

"I said nothing." Romano yelled.

"I don't believe you!" Veneziano cried.

Romano gritted his teeth together before he dropped the knife spreading the butter and the toast onto the counter.

He turned to his brother and immediately tackled him in a tight hug that brought the both of them down to the floor.

"Brother?" Veneziano exclaimed.

Romano didn't say anything as he tightened his grip on the younger man. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Veneziano asked gently.

Romano brought his face up. Veneziano started slightly when he saw the tears that had gathered in his brother's eyes.

"Don't ever leave." Romano whispered. "Don't ever leave me. Never! Please, don't ever leave me."

Veneziano placed his arms around his brother. "Silly fratello." he whispered. "I am not going anywhere."

"Italy." Romano said into Veneziano's shoulder. "Italy! Italy! Italy! You are Italy!"

"Romano!" Veneziano exclaimed. "Your Italy too!"

"No I'm not!" Romano screamed. "I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! You are! You and only you are Italy! Italy! Italy! Italy!"
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"You kinda lost it didn't you?" Spain asked.

Romano refused to acknowledge the blush that was on his cheeks. "Shut up."

Spain held out a cup of coffee which Romano accepted gratefully. "After Italy called me I was really worried. All you kept screaming at him was 'Italy'."

Romano stared into the coffee before he took a sip. "I will admit that I somewhat lost it."

"What exactly brought this on?" Spain asked taking a seat on the bed next to Romano.

"I had a dream." Romano said quietly. "Where Italy was fading away because he knew that he wasn't Italy."

"I thought as long as people continued to call him Italy he would remain Italy." Spain said.

Romano shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. If he himself finds out about that, he dies. Regardless of how many people call him Italy."

"You do realize that he is going to figure it out one day." Spain said.

Romano nodded slowly. "I do. And I am afraid for that day every single day. And that's not the worst part."

"What is?" Spain asks.

Romano looked up at Spain. "There is a part of me in the back of my mind. It wants that day. It looks forward to that day. Every day I can hear it whisper to me 'Would it be better if he just died? That way you will be who you really are. No one will ever overlook you again. No one will ever want him again. Just you.'"

Spain came forward and embraced Romano. "It's alright."

Romano shook his head. "I am a horrible older brother."

Spain shook his head. "No." he said firmly. "You are anything but a horrible brother. You are a wonderful one, one so giving that he would give away who he is just so that the other one can survive."

Unbeknownst to the both of them Veneziano's shaking hand was on the wall outside of the room in the hallway, hearing every single word clearly.